Commission Unit- Draft Pitch

I was asked as part of this unit to make a pitch for my documentary idea. The basis of a pitch is to propose an idea to someone and make them want to use your idea.
The do's and donts when pitching your idea include:


Do's 

• Brave and surprising
• passionate and engaging
• challenge conventions- use new angles
• paragraph ideas together
• pitch top line
• know existing output/opportunities
• dialogue with commissioners
• pith the ideas and not the subject matter

Don'ts 

• Lots of ideas in one pitch
• patronise the editors with gimmicks
• water a idea down too soon
• flog a dead horse
• develop a 'off message' e.g not right time slot. 

This is the draft pitch for my documentary idea: 

Draft pitch

Title: Millennium Mum

Location: surrounding areas, which involve the families lives.

Subject: becoming a teen mum in the year 2000 and what peoples opinions on this are and how they have changed since that time.

Style: interviews, archive footage (videos and photographs) and observational.

Central characters: mother, child and the family and friends closest to them.

Conflict of characters: the difference of opinions people have about girls becoming mothers in their teens and how this has changed over the past 10 years.

Characters journey: this documentary will be based on one mother in her teens who had a baby in the year 2000 and how this has changed her life and the people around her lives. I will mostly be concentrating on the mothers point of view with interviews about how she thinks her life would be different and what things she would change if anything about her life now if she had the chance. I will be adding in archive footage of the mothers life before she had her baby and also archive footage from after she had her baby. More archive footage such as photographs and videos of the child growing up will be included with things such as his/her first Christmas, first day at nursery, all the way up to current day and his/her first day at secondary school. I will also be having interviews from the general public about what they think of teen pregnancies and if there opinion on it has changed in the past 10 years.

I will have information from newspapers and tabloids on screen as well showing how teen pregnancies have been covered in the press over the past 10 years. Also statics of teen pregnancies.   

I have been giving some advice as to what i could add to this draft pitch to make it better. I will do this and then re post my final draft.